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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Ode to Coffee

You are an acquired taste
Which came later for me.
A quiet cup with today’s news
Or during a frenzied drive into work-
You give me what I crave.

Oh how I missed you during my maternal hiatus!

Whether dolled up for the holidays
Or brewed
Plain and simple
You are my, um…second favorite
Morning pick me up.

And not to mention your glorious color.

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Posted by on August 24, 2010 in Poetry, Reflection, worklife balance

 

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Ode to the Single Mother

One does not aspire to be a single mother.
As a young girl, I did not look into the mirror and long to follow in my mother’s footsteps. In fact, I was hopeful that I would raise my children in a household with two, loving parents.
But in the absence of that picture,
what can I say to you to lighten your load?
And ignite that twinkle in your eye that far too often loses its luster-

The road can be lonely, sometimes weary but punctuated with snaggletooth smiles and “I love yous” with tiny arms encircling your tired neck.
Remember that you are not a bad word or cautionary tale;
Not a stereotype or reason for shame- leave that for silent fathers to claim.
Realize that you will know love although it may not happen the way you thought it would…
Or when you thought it should.
Keep love at the center of your family.
Show your children, better than you can tell them.

It’s okay to think about yourself once in a while.

I am proud of some of my sisters that heard tick, tock of their clock
And chose to follow their heart’s desire over
Loose lips, barrenness or a bad marriage

A little support would be nice- no not a handout- a kind, supportive word
To break the monotonous cycle of school/work/motherhood
An acknowledgement that (right or wrong) we are single-handedly raising many of the next generation.

Sista-
Know that God counts your tears and
We see you.
Keep your head up.
Smile.
One day your son (or daughter) could be president.

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2010 in Family, Motherhood, Poetry, Single Parenting

 

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Where is Black Love?

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a commentary by Jeff Johnson and he shared a conversation with a woman who said that she had given up on Black men and did not know what she would/should tell her two-year old daughter…

As he went on to give his “Truth,” I was saddened yet inspired by his words. He said that many of his friends don’t even like women, merely want to possess them. It was not until after a failed marriage that he himself was able to recognize how he was the catalyst for its end. He also noted that the traits for which women seem to fault Black men are not specific to them, but are found in men of all hues.

Most of what Jeff talked about was owning our baggage/wounds/experiences and moving past them, loving past them- men AND women. He also talked about creating models of love from which our young people can learn because too many of us don’t know what (healthy) love looks like. The breakdown of too many Black families had resulted in many of us wandering aimlessly.

I have had my share of hurt, disappointment, broken hearts but I will never turn my back on the man who looks just like me. I know that Black Love exists…it surrounds us.

I see it in the eyes of my aunt who lost her husband of forty plus years to cancer, 18 months ago; in the faces of the First Family while bearing the scrutiny of the world.

I feel it in the lyrics of Raheem DeVaughn (yes, I LOVE him); in my heart when I remember the Black men that I have loved and when I look at my children.

I hear it in the voice of a girlfriend who just changed her life to follow her love; in the written words of G as he creates those broadcasts we love so much.

Let’s venerate Black Love and place it on the pedestal where it belongs. This powerful, graceful love saw our ancestors through horrific circumstances and emboldened so many to bring us forward. I challenge all of us to re-create that love and honor it.

At the end of the day, we all need and want to be loved. We must be healthy enough to accept and nurture it. We must be strong enough to submit to it. We must be courageous enough to fight for it.

I write this note in love and am hopeful that all of us find, cherish and keep love.

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2010 in Family, Relationships, women

 

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