A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a commentary by Jeff Johnson and he shared a conversation with a woman who said that she had given up on Black men and did not know what she would/should tell her two-year old daughter…
As he went on to give his “Truth,” I was saddened yet inspired by his words. He said that many of his friends don’t even like women, merely want to possess them. It was not until after a failed marriage that he himself was able to recognize how he was the catalyst for its end. He also noted that the traits for which women seem to fault Black men are not specific to them, but are found in men of all hues.
Most of what Jeff talked about was owning our baggage/wounds/experiences and moving past them, loving past them- men AND women. He also talked about creating models of love from which our young people can learn because too many of us don’t know what (healthy) love looks like. The breakdown of too many Black families had resulted in many of us wandering aimlessly.
I have had my share of hurt, disappointment, broken hearts but I will never turn my back on the man who looks just like me. I know that Black Love exists…it surrounds us.
I see it in the eyes of my aunt who lost her husband of forty plus years to cancer, 18 months ago; in the faces of the First Family while bearing the scrutiny of the world.
I feel it in the lyrics of Raheem DeVaughn (yes, I LOVE him); in my heart when I remember the Black men that I have loved and when I look at my children.
I hear it in the voice of a girlfriend who just changed her life to follow her love; in the written words of G as he creates those broadcasts we love so much.
Let’s venerate Black Love and place it on the pedestal where it belongs. This powerful, graceful love saw our ancestors through horrific circumstances and emboldened so many to bring us forward. I challenge all of us to re-create that love and honor it.
At the end of the day, we all need and want to be loved. We must be healthy enough to accept and nurture it. We must be strong enough to submit to it. We must be courageous enough to fight for it.
I write this note in love and am hopeful that all of us find, cherish and keep love.