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Category Archives: Single Parenting

Belated Father’s Day

My First Love

Trips to the beach
Weekend shopping sprees
You holding my hand in yours,
Protecting me from the world.
I was your “Boop”.
Tall, lean and caramel brown;
A clefted chin and
Beautiful smile.
Your singing drove me to breath-taking giggles-

I thought no one could compare…

My hero
My king
My love.

Lonely days of waiting melted into lonely nights
And inconsolable tears.
Years went by.
You came back, charming as ever.
With your sincere words and tender kisses, that would lead to
Days unaccounted for
Unexplained.
Broken promises,
Money borrowed.
The shock of your fist knocking me to the floor.
The flashing lights,
Me giving a statement
As a crimson print settled onto my pale cheekbone.

At graduation you came smiling
As if you had a hand in my milestone.
Be nice and smile for the camera, said mom.
You had no right.

My hero
My king
My love.

So save the apologies
And personal attacks on my integrity.
You were an asshole long before the rock
Became your motivation.
I remember Mommy on the floor of my room
With a blood-stained Afro.
Me, wide-eyed in four-year-old feety pajamas
And you, swooping down to take me.

I remember our trip to Florida in a yellow, foreign car
You shimmying up a tree to get me a coconut.
Then twenty years later without decency or restraint, you shattered that tender memory
with the truth-
A truth that would have changed my identity.

My hero
My king
My love.

So excuse me.
Excuse my contempt.
For you
Your family and
Your life.
Excuse my hardened heart
And inability to trust.
That mean streak that everyone loves to hate-
Lovingly molded by you.
Excuse me,
For shielding my children
From your poisonous nature
And lobotomizing you from my life.

As a woman, my journey continues.
For the one to console me
Who will guide and protect me.
To rub my hair
And tenderly kiss my forehead
As a father would.
To rescue me
From the world
From myself
From you.

A girl never forgets her first love.

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Tenth Circle of Hell

An additional circle has been added to Dante’s Inferno.

This bastard is going to be subjected to some serious jailhouse justice! I’m good with it…

Rest now Angels.

 
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Posted by on February 3, 2016 in Family, Rant, Single Parenting, violence, women

 

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Keep Doing What You’re Doing

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Happy Father’s Day!

You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be there! To all the fathers, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, brothers and mothers who are helping to guide and raise our children to be secure, happy and productive, thank you. It takes a village.

 

Be Soft. Be Strong.

As a single mom and the daughter of a single mom, I get it. This is not everyone’s story, but it is the soundtrack for the lives of many American children. There are many mothers doing the work of both parents and not by choice. For that reason, I think some men’s groups are missing the point and taking offense. This is not for you… it is for the children (and adults) who have mom to thank for raising them.

Thoughts?

#HappyFathersDayMom

 

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Do As I Say, Not As I Do!

Logo Family Final

Why is following my own professional advice so HARD?!?

I have a girlfriend/colleague who incorporated her nonprofit a few months ago, Empowering Single Moms, Inc. and is having a launch event on May 16. We’ve been friends since college and this has been her vision for a long time; it is so exciting to witness it coming to fruition!

With that said, I have been working at warp speed trying to teach her about the critical importance of branding, PR and media relations.  This is what happens when your client/sista girl pulls you in after-the-fact and doesn’t have a communications plan…don’t get me started.

Anyway, I sent her a quick and dirty task list on Monday to get her to the launch event, including roles, deadlines and notes. After work (yes, we are hybrids: both have 9 to 5s) I gave her a “social media for your biz” crash course via phone while she was in the barbershop with her sons. After hanging up, I heard my voice ringing in my ears: “Keep your Twitter fresh!” “Is your Twitter linked to your Facebook page?” “Have you invited your friends and colleagues to follow you?” Sigh…a long one.

If you are on Twitter, please be kind and follow me @joyinhome

 

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Sex Lives of the Rich and Poor

According to Brookings, they are really quite similar, at least among women. That is until we start talking reproductive choice and protection. I know, I know… a touchy subject, especially when politics is ever-present in the conversation. Apparently, access to birth control is the greatest variable in this conversation.

In terms of policy, the Affordable Care Act has helped some of these complex issues. However, this type of research needs to be used when arguing the intersection of reproductive rights and economics. We all know that women still lag behind in terms of earning power and financial freedom. When coupled with child-bearing, we lose more ground. Inject socio-economic class and the women at the lower end of that spectrum finish last.

In a sense, inequality starts before birth, said co-author Richard Reeves, policy director of the Center on Children and Families. An important part of the policy story is helping parents have children when they’re ready. The life chances of those children will be better as a result.

It can be so easy to judge, but don’t do it until you run the race in another’s shoes.

 

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The Dynamic Definition of Family

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According to a new Pew Research Center poll more than 34 percent of U.S. children are being raised by a single parent. And only 46 percent of us live in a “traditional” family household (two, married heterosexual parents in their first marriage). The decision to rebuke marriage is cited for some of the shift. The study does not include information on percentage of children in same-sex marriage households.The benchmark seems to be data from 1960.

Having not delved into the actual data (although I am unsure if it dug in), I am guessing that people feel more secure about choosing what is best for them rather than the popular choice. What I’m curious to know is the resulting analysis: are our children happier?

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2014 in Family, Relationships, Single Parenting, Youth

 
 
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